our top baby things

i've sent this list to friends who have asked for it, and i've always meant to post it here for memory.  especially now, so we can see what we like this time versus last time.  i feel like i should call it "our top baby mateo things" though, since every little one is so different.  mateo, for example, was never given bottles or pacifiers, and he never really spit up so we didn't have to use some of the classics that people rely on.  and he's always been a pretty great sleeper.

so, on with it, here is our list (in no particular order) :

• a nipple shield - without this he wasn't able to nurse, so i will be forever thankful for it.  in his first days, we tried everything and he couldn't latch on, but during our last hour at the hospital the lactation consultant gave me a shield and it made all the difference. 
• the happiest baby on the block - we watched this short dvd the 1st week of his life and it was incredible!  basically this man walks into a room of crying babies and shushes them one by one, using ancient techniques that we all may know, but don't remember.  they worked wonders for us.  we are planning on watching the same library copy again this week for a refresher.
• the baby book by dr. sears - i was reading general baby care books until i came across this one at the library.  i could not put it down and remember reading luke bits of it out loud on our road trip to dc because i was so excited.  it basically validated many of my instincts that hadn't been validated anywhere - like cosleeping and attachment parenting.  i am so happy to have found it.  also: mothering magazine helped with this too, but is no longer publishing. :(
• babywearing - we tried so many carriers (ring sling, regular sling, moby wrap, mei tai, and ergo) thanks to lansing babywearer's, where you can rent them and get help and advice on each one.  i loved each and every one we tried for different purposes and ages and sizes of mateo.  we rarely used a stroller during his 1st year.
• community/mama groups - i wasn't involved at all before mateo but something in me changed with his birth and i felt an incredible need to connect with other women.  i think i would have gone crazy without knowing anyone.  so we joined and joined, and also got involved in other ways and this may have been the single most important thing to me.  we've regularly had one social thing planned for 4 of the 5 days of the week.
• snot sucker - it just works.
• this swing - we were sure before having a baby that we wouldn't need all the baby contraptions people told us we needed, and we didn't want them cluttering the house.  then some generous friends dropped by this very swing to let us borrow as a surprise and we jokingly called it "the torture chamber" because it was so big and gaudy and too much.  two directions of swinging, lights, music, moving fish!?!  i told luke our baby would not be using it... and then mateo came and at one point i was desperate and it turns out he loves the giant fishy swing and sometimes it was the only thing to calm him down.  i am so thankful to our friends, and so thankful to this ugly swing.  we found the exact same one at a mom sale last month for $20.  :)
• the business of being born - we saw this early on (maybe before we were pregnant?) and it opened our eyes to birth culture and the fact that there are so many more options than just going to a hospital and treating pregnancy like a medical condition, rather than a natural part of life.  
• these twinkle lights - these lights that our friends sent us were the first thing that mateo would zone out on and fall asleep to when he was first sleeping in his crib.  we used them so much that they've burnt out but i am determined to fix and then replace them with the paper boxes for our next little one.
• cosleeping - i feel so blessed that a few weeks before mateo's arrival i picked up a copy of mothering magazine with an article on cosleeping.  i didn't know at the time that mothering was the more "natural" parenting magazine.  the article opened my eyes to the fact that people and animals have been cosleeping since the beginning of time.  a few days after mateo was home with us and i had had no sleep, i gently laid him down next to me and nursed and we both woke up 3 hours later after our longest stretch of sleep yet.  i was always aware of him while sleeping.  we coslept for 3 months until it seemed like he was able to sleep soundly for long stretches, and moved him into his room seamlessly.  

what did i miss?  anything major?

38 weeks

 

these were taken last week, at 38 weeks.  if more stretch marks are any indicator, i am definitely bigger this week.  :)  i am feeling good, and this little one inside is super active.  just like mateo, he/she seems to love to really move and kick right when i lay down to sleep.  i've put luke in charge of my nutrition and surprise, surprise i haven't had much heartburn since.  (lesson: fried foods while luke is away = heartburn).

 we've made progress this week:  luke had both car seats professionally installed - the bad news is that they are too big to be next to each other, so our 3 - seat backseat is now pretty much a 2 - seat backseat unless you are super tiny and can squeeze in the middle.  even more bad news is that unica isn't super tiny and won't be able to fit.  we've never needed a bigger car until now!  maybe she can ride on my lap?

we also made some progress on packing the birth center bag (why is this so hard for us?) and went shopping for snacks: i got grape juice and popsicles and peanut butter and crackers, luke got a few power bars and peanut m&ms.  plus we will grab whatever fruit and cheese and nuts we have on hand.  we set up a crib in our bedroom.  and made a plan with luke's family for their arrival to help us.  i had my hair cut and even managed to reach and paint my own toenails last night.  things are coming together.

 oh!  and most exciting, we think we've decided on a boy name.  we had one that was ahead of the others this entire pregnancy, but another with more meaning sort of just swooped in and took it's place as of yesterday.  we are still working on narrowing down a girl name.

here is a close up of my henna belly.  :)

and we took one quick shot of the five of us together.  luke never gets to be in the belly photos with me, so we made it happen just in case these are the last ones.

a mother blessing

 

 last weekend some dear friends gave me a mother blessing.  i hadn't even heard of a mother blessing until last month when i read about it in a book.  i had been thinking all along that i didn't want a baby shower, but i did want to do something to acknowledge and celebrate this new life inside me.  from what i'd read, a mother blessing focused more on spending time together before the baby's arrival.  no gifts or baby games or horrible labor stories.  it sounded so good to me, especially here where i am surrounded by such a positive community of strong women.  the very next day after reading about it, one friend mentioned me having one, and the very next day another friend, amanda, offered to give me one.  it all seemed so perfectly meant to be.  i can't thank you enough!

 

 these two friends of mine did everything.  it was incredible.  they brought vintage tablecloths and cloth napkins and hot coffee and dishes so that i wouldn't have to do anything.  they brought homemade lemon bars, kiss me cake, scones, fruit salad, mini quiche and chocolates.  how incredible is that?

amanda may be my most multi-talented friend.  she took these photos.  and she made the paper-cut banner below.  

she also surprised me with this beautiful drawing of me and mateo and this baby inside.  i totally cried because i've never had anything like it before.  so beautiful.

 

our friends came and amanda seamlessly hosted and we talked and i was encouraged and advised and felt loved.  i told them my worries and they listened and gave me ideas.  they gave me a peppermint soak for my feet and then a foot massage and i wasn't allowed to do anything to help.  each friend brought a bead and told me why they'd chosen it for me.  the beads will go on a necklace for me to hold and think of during labor. 

  

we did several old wives tales gender tests to guess what the baby might be.  60% came out girl, and 40% boy.

we all stood connected in a circle with a string around our wrists that was later cut and tied around each one of us.  the idea is that we will wear them until the baby comes to send good thoughts and prayers when we see them around our wrists.

 they each gave me advice or a note or a poem that i will cherish.

i am not really describing the afternoon the way i want to.  i think that is why it has taken me so long to post this - i can't really put into words how much it meant to me.  i felt so nourished by these beautiful women and this lovely community around me.  i felt so far from the lonely days before mateo's birth when i knew no one.   i feel at peace and ready to labor a baby out of my body again.  i feel thankful to have a husband who supports me and takes our son out for hours and comes back to do dishes so my friends won't have to.  and most of all, i feel blessed.  God has really changed our lives here and i am so thankful.  we are happy.

 

after everyone left, amanda gave me a henna tattoo.  (are you keeping track here of all that she does?  plans, bakes, decorates, hosts, photographs, bead work, and now henna!).  i hadn't thought about it before hand, but when she asked me what i wanted i knew immediately that i wanted a tree.  she drew the most beautiful tree on my belly.  

  

oh, and she also set up a food train for us (click here for info).  so, so generous.

one last photo, this one of the beads i received that day.  more have come in the mail since - just today from california, illinois, and england! - so i will have to post an updated photo soon of the necklace.  i couldn't have imagined it coming together any better or more meaningful, and i feel so blessed to have this necklace made up of the women in my life.   i feel like we all should have one.

amanda, i know i have thanked you a thousand times, but i want to thank you a thousand more.  you are a beautiful friend to me.

in love again

  

mateo's first "girlfriend" from our gardenhouse days moved away to texas, and just recently moved back!  i'm not sure who is happier: me, to have her mama back, or him, to have his love again.  (both, really).

 looks like not much has changed.

lansing: date mornings at panera

every few weeks since he was born, i take mateo on a bagel date to panera.  it's not local, and it's not the most amazing breakfast place ever, but it is easy, mateo-friendly, cheap, and right down the street from us.  it started as a good place for me to venture out with him, and now it's become our special date morning spot.  whenever we drive near it he now shouts "pan! pan!" (for bread in spanish) which he equates to bagel - one of his very favorite foods.  

i took him back recently to savor maybe our last solo date for awhile.  we have a whole routine: we look at the yummies through the glass, talk about them, order and he pays with my card.  i fill a cup with decaf coffee while he plays with the sleeve as a bracelet.  then he runs to the back to find a high chair and chooses a table.  we run to the water area to fill 2 cups, and he insists on taking a sip before moving.  it's the same every time. 

this particular morning, since i was feeling especially nostalgic, i let him try his first ever chocolate chip bagel.  i think he liked it.  a lot.  i will miss these sunny bagel mornings with my little guy.

36 weeks

 

we took these this past week on a super cold day so we didn't take much time with them.  i'm sorry to my aunt debi who is the official girl-or-boy guesser in the family since my dress and sweater makes it kind of hard to see my shape.  what do you think?  i added a poll on the side. --->

the baby is head down!  thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers and advice.  we are so relieved.  i am getting lots of kicks in the right places now and even feet lodged up high in my ribs, right where they belong.  i have mega pregnancy heartburn and middle of the night reflux (yuck) despite how many papaya enzymes i eat.  all of a sudden i have a 2am nighttime snack routine of 2 graham crackers, a glass of milk, and even more papaya enzymes.

i am much bigger and slower these days and so grateful to all the friends and neighbors who help me chase mateo down when we go places.  he's so fast for me. 

next week we have the official car seat installer appointment.  and we've made the grand to-do list and are slowly checking things off.  it is just a few pages past the official to-do list we made for mateo's birth, and it's interesting to see where we were at then and now.  having a cozy home instead of a just-moved-in one gives me so much peace.

my birth center appointments are weekly now, and they seem more like therapy than anything else.  i feel like i've really turned a corner from fear over the upcoming labor (related to my first birthing experience) to excitement for the experience and belief that my body was meant to do this.  i've also been reading some really great books that i will share later.

luke is in seattle this week which is pretty risky everyone keeps telling me, but we both feel peace about it.  anyways, him running to the airport to change his ticket because his wife is in labor would make for a great story.  :)

cocinando: our faves

someone asked, and this is our answer:  these are our favorite cookbooks, and have been for some time now.  i've been really getting into (or trying to) weekly meal planning lately so we've been digging into them even more.  for me, the most important quality of a cookbook is one that i find myself reading like a book.  these four all have that for me.

1) feeding the whole family by cynthia lair

this one has been great for giving us ideas on whole but complex meals for us, and adapting them for mateo when he was just starting solids.  the salads we've tried from it have been amazing.  it's also above my head ingredient-wise in a lot of ways which makes me crave the challenge of learning how and what these things are to eat more healthily.  the cover is by nikki mcclure which makes it nice to look at, too. 

2) the art of simple food by alice waters

alice waters is my food hero.  this book we don't actually own, but we've had it on our shelf for the past year and keep renewing it, returning it, and re-checking it out.  i look forward to owning it someday and being able to take notes in it.  also so i won't feel guilty when a little vanilla or flour gets splashed on the pages.  i love how the book is organized by season, and how the lists of ingredients are organized.  luke says someday he will take me to alice water's restaurant.

3) how to cook everything by mark bittman

this is our go-to for anything we can think of - curries, banana breads, sweet potato waffles.  we've been using it for so long now but still feel like we've just begun.  bittman makes cooking less intimidating. 

4) the essential new york times cookbook by amanda hesser

this is a compilation of the most notable recipes from the new york times since it began publishing them in the 1850s!  i love reading this one since each recipe has a bit of history included, along with feedback from column readers through the year.  that dutch pancake we made is in here, and what originally introduced me to the book. 

other than these, we really like using food52, 101 cookbooks, and food & wine 's websites.  allrecipes tends to be a bit too much for me.

do you have a favorite i should get to know?

little things for a little one

 

luke stayed home with mateo a few weekends ago so i could run some errands - one being enjoying myself by sipping a coffee bought on a savored gift card while taking some time digging through the racks at the salvation army.  sometimes shopping by myself is such a luxury!  i brought home a few sweet things for our newest little one.  i think they will work for either a boy or a girl.  and each little thing was less than 1 dollar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

i also found these last two things for mateo - because i can't turn down anything with professorial elbow patches, and because i can totally see him wearing little sailor overalls for his 2nd birthday.

what i came home to

 

what i came home to after a morning tea tasting workshop with the slow food group.

they have so much fun together.

i made peanut butter cups

 

i don't know why it took me so long to make homemade peanut butter cups.  the reeces ones are one of luke's favorite things, but it never even crossed my mind that i could make them myself until yesterday.  when we went to the city market and bought the yummiest organic peanut butter i've maybe ever had.  (from nan's booth, who calls mateo her boyfriend).

so we came home and i read a dozen different recipes and then combined the parts i liked.  it was way too easy.  just: melt 1/2 a bag of chocolate chips with a little butter, spread all over the sides and bottom of muffin cups or a muffin tin and freeze it for awhile until it gets hard.  while it was chilling, i mixed peanut butter with confectioner's sugar, a little bit of vanilla and salt, and some crushed graham cracker (which added a really lovely crunch).  we put it in the hardened chocolate cups, then again melted the last 1/2 of the chocolate chips with butter, spread it on top of the peanut butter and froze them for 30 minutes.  

can we just say: they taste amazing.  you should try them.  the taste makes up for the slight messiness.  but use a yummy all-natural peanut butter and don't forget the grahams.

wearin' the world

 

thanks to the salvation army, we found the perfect gift for our friend who is turning 30.  he happens to be our most well-traveled friend and has already lived or studied or worked in england, china, russia and yemen!

 

oh yeah, it's real.

 

we hope he likes it.