mateo's fourth birthday party

our biggest little one is 4!  we had his birthday party on a sunny saturday morning at buffalo park.  it was maybe my favorite party yet.

luke and i were kind of exhausted from hosting and organizing and cooking so much lately, so much so that we *almost* didn't have a party for mateo, but then i remembered how much he had been talking about one and how it wasn't his fault that his special day came after so many others.  so we planned it 4 days in advance, with the one rule that we wouldn't really cook anything.  we got bagels, bought some coffee and orange juice and champagne, sliced some fruit and that was it.  

i made a giant pinata the night before.  it took me four hours and was fun to make but at the same time i kept thinking how all my work would be destroyed in a matter of hours!  i think it was worth it though - the pinatas in town were $30 (and shaped like children!?!) and mine was about $3 to make, and it stayed together for a really long time.

we told all the children to bring their bicycles for a bicycle parade - something we'd seen on a 1970s sesame street episode.  we gave mateo his gift (a new bike) early so he was super excited about it and really all he did through the whole party was ride around on it in his own little happy bicycle world.  

 i don't love pinatas but since mateo has been to so many parties this year with them he asked me for one.  i struggled with the idea of filling it with sugar and cheapie throw away plastic toys so i asked our community and got so many good ideas of other things to put in.  we put in some bird and dinosaur tattoos, some stickers, some mammoth sunflower seeds for planting, some coloring pages of the grand canyon and usa, homemade crayon discs from all of our broken bits of crayon, bags of popcorn and, for mateo's dream pinata, some organic lollipops from trader joes.  i heard lots of good feedback from all the mamas and papas about the pinata contents, so i think we succeeded in pleasing everyone, hooray!  

instead of baking a cake, mateo and ruby and i made messy fruit and yogurt popsicles all week long and they survived the party.

 he asked to match me so of course i obliged.  

i think he had a happy day.

at 2 years ruby sue

at two whole years, ruby:

:: sings the abcs ::

:: counts to 14 ::

:: calls herself boots, and her brother dora :: 

:: asks to go to storytime every day ::

:: speaks in complex sentences ::

:: and gets comments on her speech everywhere we go ::

:: but sometimes pretends to be shy and buries her head in my chest and says "i'm shy" ::

:: loves any and all art projects and will sit for the longest time doing them ::

:: follows her brother's every move ::

:: is super strong willed and stubborn ::

:: still creates the sweetest songs with just the words "mommy mommy" in them ::

:: has a great sense of smell and always catches me whenever i sneak something sweet by asking "what you eating, mama?" ::

:: loves the color yellow ::

:: sleeps with raggedy ann and a baby doll every night ::

:: is still the best cuddle-r i've ever known and creates positions i never knew existed ::

:: eats every meal next to her papi ::

:: laughs like her grandma cathy ever since our texas visit ::

:: has wispy curls on shower days, and big messy hair on non shower days ::

:: pretends to be baby animals and then tells me she is baby dino (or gatita, etc) and that i am mama dino ::

:: is so peaceful and mellow much of the time and also equally fiery at other times ::

:: is the dreamiest little one we could have ever imagined ::

this third little one

 i have meant to thank you all for your sweet comments and encouragements since we announced this pregnancy months ago.  thank you. 

i think because of the baby we lost last summer, it took me quite a long while to let myself be excited about this one.  since mateo was born i always felt like 3 babies was the perfect number for our family - not so much a feeling of choice but a feeling of sureness, as if it wasn't up to us, if that makes sense.  so we are totally over the moon excited about this one.  it feels really right.  but this time, because of the baby we lost, i felt myself trying to be detached.  i thought maybe the ultrasound would help or having a belly would help but still i felt no confidence.  finally, at week 17, when i began to feel little kicks from the inside out, i felt i could let out the breath i'd been holding and really embrace this little one.  i'm only sorry it took so long.  and now, that this, most likely my last pregnancy is already 1/2 over.  i have to really savor it now that i am allowing myself to be confident and happy.

i am 24 weeks today.  this time around feels just like when mateo was inside me - where i felt miserably sick all the time in the beginning and i wanted to vomit but never could.  i have that, and just my general feeling is that it is a boy, but since i have been wrong in my guesses with mateo and ruby, maybe it is a girl?  i would be really surprised.  i think having both a boy and a girl already takes any pressure off, and really i find myself thinking more about who this little one will be instead of it's gender.

i sometimes think i should be more worried about having 3 little ones, but mostly i feel so at peace.  i know times will be crazy, i know i am not very organized or much of a planner, i know sometimes (often) i go crazy, i know my many many faults as a mama.  i do honestly get panicky when i am doing laundry and realize there will be another pile added in.  but i also know how easy it is to fall in love with a little one and what an incredible blessing it is to be given the gift of one more child.  i am so so so so happy to get to experience labor and then birth and the purest joy of picking up a newborn baby onto my chest and looking into its face for the first of a thousand times.  i can't believe we get to have that again.

we don't really know anyone here with 3 children.  most of our community has just 1 child per family, isn't that funny?  i feel in a way that we are going where nobody has gone before, but then i think of some of our family and our michigan friends and i know we can't really be so alone.  and then i go back inside my heart and remember how good and right 3 feels.

i always wait until the third trimester before stressing about labor and logistics and i still have a few weeks before that.  for logistics we need to figure out how to fit 3 car seats in the back of a corolla (any ideas?) and what we can sell to buy a double stroller, and maybe how to better refigure our tiny house into a space for 5.  for labor we plan to do all the ina may reading again, and this time we are hoping and praying for a peaceful birth right here in our home.  i am so excited for it.

for now, like always, i love being pregnant and i am trying to get the most out of it since it will probably be the last time i will ever be this way.  mateo is really into it and asks all sorts of questions all the time, and ruby likes to put her hand on my bare belly and sing twinkle twinkle little star to it.  i love feeling the kicks the baby is giving me as i write this.  how will i remember that feeling once all my babies are out in the world?

12 weeks

22 weeks

ruby is 2

i've shared ruby's birthday party with you all but not her actual birthday.  last year i promised myself not to ever plan a birthday party on the same day as a birthday since knowing myself a party will get bigger and bigger with cooking and ideas and stress me out (even while i try to keep things simple) and i won't be able to concentrate on the birthday child like i want to.  this year has worked out well that way - she had a party similar to the ones she attends of her friends, and then we didn't plan much on ruby's special day and so we were able to just relax and spend time loving on her.  i think it eases the pressure on them too.

 the night before, luke and i read and remembered her birth story which made us cry and laugh.  then we started the morning with lots of birthday song singing and kisses and a green smoothie and of course the lemon poppyseed muffins i made while in labor with her.

 she definitely still likes them.

 she had a great collection of gifts mostly from friends and family from afar.  we gave her a little bike i'd found at a mom to mom sale the day before.

 mateo searched far and wide for the perfect ruby gift and settled finally on some dora and boots stickers.  here he is showing them to her.

my mom sent her a baby doll that she couldn't wait to hold.  luke and i unwrapping wires from toys makes me feel like we are real parents - it is such a parent thing to do and i remember so well the anticipation of wanting whatever it was out already and in my hands.

 there is never a holiday for ruby without an owl or two, her favorite.

we gifted her a slide of her very own that we'd found.  it is little but the perfect size for a 2 year old i think.  i can't get over how long her legs are these days, not baby like at all.

after naps we started making a cake.  her request was for a "yellow cake" (her favorite color) which was easy enough.  we made the smitten kitchen perfect birthday cake recipe with chocolate icing and put tons of yellow sprinkles on top but their color got lost in all the chocolate.  luckily with the excitement of a cake and candles she didn't notice at all.

 i let them help to the fullest as you can see.

our local family came over and we had pizza and homemade macaroni and cheese and kale salad.  then cake and ice cream and more birthday singing and candle blowing.

my heart is happy to celebrate and focus on this little girl who rarely demands attention.  so thankful she is ours.

all 3

ruby's 2nd birthday party

 our little, tiny, newborn baby girl is 2!  we had her birthday party on a sunny saturday morning at thorpe park.  we found a neglected, sad but semi-clean old volleyball court in the trees and thought it might be the perfect location - trees and near the park but not near enough that kids would be running to it, and plenty of room to make our own fun.

ruby has a girlfriend with the very same birthday so we shared the birthday party for the girls and they invited a handful of their little friends - all boys, funnily enough.

we had a spread of spanish tapas, like tortilla espanola and tuna empanadas and fruits and vegetables and homemade baguettes with grated tomato. 

i have a hard time knowing what ruby might like - she is little enough to be happy with anything and everything of course, but i still want to know her well enough to give her something special.  it is hard because with mateo already having been her age i feel like we have everything she could possibly want and that is where i struggle.  after lots of thought and probably too much worry, i remembered the giant balls at the big stores that come out every spring, and that she always gets excited to see and wants to bring home but i never do.

i thought that maybe we could get one for her and each of her friends to take home and that would be the grand big event for her otherwise simple party.  halfway through the morning, three of the dads went to our car to surprise the kids with the balls.  i will never forget the looks and the exclaims of everyone as they came around the corner and then tossed the balls into the air.  it was really, really fabulous and my favorite memory of the day.

and backing up 24 hours, picking up 9 balls by myself at target was really fun.  i had only one cart so i was trying to fit them in like a puzzle.  i never realized what a universally happy thing a big bouncy ball is, but seriously - i have never ever been greeted and smiled at and asked so much while walking through the store.  a lot of people assumed they were for a party, one asked if i owned a daycare.  and so many people helped me chase down balls as they escaped and rolled down aisles and in the parking lot.  

ruby found some love immediately for this yellow ball, and followed it the whole party through.  i forgot to mention - her one request for her party was that it be "yellow", her favorite color.  i hope it was yellow enough for her.

the other big event was a drumming parade.  luke stayed up so late the night before the party collecting our old coffee and yogurt and egg containers and turning them into little drums by adding bells inside and string to them.  it was the last thing on our list so i was sure it wouldn't happen but he made it happen and the result was so great.

 the kids each picked out a drum and luke led them around the sand dancing and drumming.

 at the end of the party as everyone was leaving, ruby sat down in luke's camp chair and soon all of her little friends circled around her, chatting and tickling and opening a present.  it was really sweet to see her surrounded by her little community of friends we see every week.